We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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