Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
