Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
