I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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