it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
