I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
