I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sorry about my life...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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