I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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