Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
