it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Two words: nipple clamps
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