I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
