oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
