the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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