guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
