Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
