i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
