I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
