Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
porn star boner night. come get it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
