I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
