I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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