They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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