that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
