Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
