Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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