I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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