Who wears a wallet chain?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
