Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My cat gives me a boner
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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