I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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