I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
