if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
