I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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