let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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