Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
