Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
