YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
