I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Its about making memories worth repressing
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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