in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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