Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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