Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
