I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
