Buhtt sex?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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