I wannas sexs uuuuu
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
