what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
