my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
