Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
