he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
