i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
