One girl and one boy is just not enough.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
