i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
