At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
