remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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