so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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