I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
